The loss of someone you have loved dearly in a relationship can be an extremenly painful experience. Your life as you have know it can be completely up-side dow. In the next few paragraphs, Michelle Walter explains how you can move on from this heartache and start turning it in to healing.
Sometimes you can be so in love in a long or short-term relatiionship that you actually start to mimick the other persons thought and feelings without any knowledge. Almost as if the two of you are beginning to combine.
Obviously this makes any break-up totally heartbreaking. However you must remember that although you may feel like you are losing part of you in the other person, you will also loose all the baggage that has been brought to the relationship as well.
Once your heartache subsides and you can let go of that added baggage I mentioned earlier, you will actually feel more liberated and free than you ever have been. You will be able to explore new possibilities within your own self relationships.
Re-invent your own relationship
Firstly, make a beginning by working out what things that you counted as gains from your partners identity and then think about how you can adapt these qualities in your own way. The better parts of your relationship or indeed your ex can be salvaged and used in the future to create something totally unique to you. One particular more high profile example of someone re-inventing themselves using a previous relationship is Nicole Kidman. Nicole went through a very difficult and painful break-up but has taken the part of the relationship that she shared with Tom, their acting, and has now emerged as an incredibly famous actress in her own right. She has used her previous relationship with Tom to make her more powerfull and certainly not less. Through her own heartbreak she has realised her own potential from being in her previous relationship.
Looking at your realtionship within yourself and how this can help you grow out of your heartache
Too often, we believe that the key to getting what we want lies outside ourselves - in some other person. Whilst it is true to say that in a deep, intimate relationship you become open to new feelings and experiences that help you to grow, the relationship itself is an introduction to these new experiences.
You can no longer look to your partner for any energy. Soon you will have to grow strong enough to create these feelings by yourself. You should think of this a new beginning or birth of new energies in a new relationship and not as then end of an old relationship. You have settled into a trend of taking energy from each other and instead of sharing you have actually become needy. You must this opportunity to create new energies and reknew your capacity for growing as a person.
Life can be so beautiful and free and yet your partner has opted to leave the relationship and you are left broken hearted. Though the truth is that as you gradually come to terms with it and begin to open your eyes to the new experiences that lie ahead you will feel all the new energies flowing through you and become invogarated. There is so much still to create and feel with all the beauty of a new life ahead of you, and remember, there’s plenty more fish in the sea!
