I’ve worked with a lot of people to quit smoking. In doing this, I have heard all kinds of reasons that it might be better if they kept smoking.

I’ve been told smoking sharpens your mind, relaxes you, calms you, keeps you from yelling at the kids (or spouse), tastes good with coffee, tastes better after a meal. In short, makes you feel “better”. (I always ask “better than what”?)

I know you don’t really believe these reasons, or why would you be trying to stop smoking. Still, a part of you DOES believe these reasons.

You do have a strong reason to keep smoking or you would have quit by now. Just so you know, there are not any laws stating your reason to keep smoking needs to make any sense. It rarely does.

You’ve probably already proven your reasons untrue. Smoking might taste better with coffee because the coffee taste on your tongue covers the bad taste of smoking???

And most of the time you’re AWARE it doesn’t make sense. That doesn’t change anything though, does it? Just one more log to toss on the fire of your motivation to quit. A fire that doesn’t have much chance against the ocean of your craving to smoke.

It all comes down to two things. The belief that smoking will make you feel better and what you’re trying to feel better than. That’s it.

If you’re thirsty you crave something to drink. If you’re hungry you crave food. If you feel bad (tired, stressed, overwhelmed, angry, lonely, whatever…) you want to feel good. And, whatever your mind has been taught feels good, you will crave.

This is simple explanation of a craving. Some smokers have more than one type of craving, the ‘first thing in the morning’ craving might feel different than the ‘on the phone’ craving.

So, what are you supposed to do? I can write several pages talking about this (and I have, look for them) But, it all comes down to modifying the feeling, motivation and belief involved.

First, the bad feeling needs to be helped. If it’s about stress, get it managed, if it’s a difficult situation, do what you can to take care of it or get some help. If it’s a bad feeling you get that is beyond what the situation deserves, behavior modification might be what you need.

Second, the ‘looking to feel better’ side of things needs to be updated. (it’s common that this is about mistaken beliefs, formed when young, that smoking is about being an adult, in control, strong willed, independent, etc…) Of course, a cigarette is only leaf and chemicals wrapped in paper. The good feeling is the emotions your mind has attached to this action. It could just as easily be ice cream or cookies that your mind has attached good feelings with.

And that’s the bottom line. The bulk of the quit smoking issue is about behavior modification - changing the way you feel. That’s why the success rate of most prescription medication and nicotine replacement (like the patch and nicotine gum) alone is so low. The only current exception is Chantix and even Pfizer, the makers of Chantix, recommend behavior modification go along with the medication.